Strength to Last the Day

One step forward, but two steps back
I can’t move on, can’t keep in tact
I sin, I fail
My flesh prevails
Though I say you’re my Lord

Can’t swim, I sink and lose my will
Keep moving cuz I can’t stay still
I sin, I fail
My flesh prevails
Though I say you’re my king

You offered up your life
Exchanged for what was mine
You’ve clothed me in your righteousness

So I’ll fall back into your arms
You give strength to last the day
You will always stand with me
Holy Spirit, I fall down on my knees
In worship of you God

Jesus you received all wrath
So I could stand and not look back
You took on sin
And were broken
So I’d say you’re my God

You sent to us the Holy Ghost
And swore you’d not leave us alone
You gave us strength
To such great length
So we say you’re our God

I raise my hands in awe
Of who you are, of you, my God
I worship you, give you my all
Take my life, it’s yours

Rest Assured

You alone remain faithful and true
Only you are able to bear in me fruit

Who is there on the earth who’s ways stay so pure?
There is none in this world who makes paths so sure

There is no one else who’s steady like you
Who stays solid as a stone

Your ways are higher than any other’s
Your providence gives me strength
You give hope for tomorrow
Assurance of life
There is hope in your name, Jesus

Who will stay in my life without wavering?
There is no one but you who keeps me from falling

There is no one else who’s steady like you
Who stays solid as a stone

Your ways are higher than any other’s
Your providence gives me strength
You give hope for tomorrow
Assurance of life
There is hope in your name, Jesus

It’s because you are God
Oh! And we are surely not
You alone are God
You, Jesus

Longings, Desires, Hope and Truth

Longings that are deep inside
Longings that hold through the night
Longings that won’t go away
Longings that, like wind, will change

Desires that take root down within
Desires that grow, increase, and live
Desires that seem to keep my mind
Desires that stay attentive eyes

Hope that stays, despite a lack
Hope that comes and goes like that
Hope that flourished here and there
Hope that none find anywhere

Truth that someday it will be
Truth that someday I’ll be free
Truth that brings a million more
Truth that rescues the hurt and poor

Finding Rest

Call me cheesy, but I’m a sucker for poems like this.
Certainly because I’m such a hopeless romantic, but also because parts of them remind me of Jesus and how he pursues us. The one speaking in the poem sounds so hopeless, but his heart never stops longing and pursuing.

This poem is from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Treebeard is telling Merry and Pippin’ about their female counterparts, the Entwives, whom they haven’t seen for a VERY long time.

The Entwives left the Ents because they wanted to keep moving and cultivate other lands. They liked their gardens and wanted to wander rather than stay with the Ents. This did not stop the Ents from emploring the Entwives to stay with them, and it did not stop the Ents from searching and pursuing the Entwives.



Ent:
When Spring unfolds the beechen leaf, and sap is in the bough;
When light is on the wild-wood stream, and wind is on the brow;
When stride is long, and breath is deep, and keen the mountain-air,
Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is fair!

Entwife:
When Spring is come to garth and field, and corn is in the blade;
When blossom like a shining snow is on the orchard laid;
When shower and Sun upon the Earth with fragrance fill the air,
I’ll linger here, and will not come, because my land is fair.

Ent:
When Summer lies upon the world, and in a noon of gold
Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold;
When woodland halls are green and cool, and wind is in the West,
Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is best!

Entwife:
When Summer warms the hanging fruit and burns the berry brown;
When straw is gold, and ear is white, and harvest comes to town;
When honey spills, and apple swells, though wind be in the West,
I’ll linger here beneath the Sun, because my land is best!

Ent:
When Winter comes, the winter wild that hill and wood shall slay;
When trees shall fall and starless night devour the sunless day;
When wind is in the deadly East, then in the bitter rain
I’ll look for thee, and call to thee; I’ll come to thee again!

Entwife:
When Winter comes, and singing ends; when darkness falls at last;
When broken is the barren bough, and light and labour past;
I’ll look for thee, and wait for thee, until we meet again:
Together we will take the road beneath the bitter rain!

Both:
Together we will take the road that leads into the West,
And far away will find a land where both our hearts may rest.

Where I'll Stand

I built my house down on the sand
The sea rose up and tore it down
Where now can I go?
Where is there shelter?

I put faith in steel and firm hands
Stored treasure here in this land
Where now can I invest
If right now these things won't last?

Seeing all the things I once loved
Eaten by moth and by rust
What have I left to cling to?
What's left for me?

If thieves break in and steal all
And I can't guard my own
If tornados destroy
Where can I go?

I will stand on nothing more
Than Jesus Christ, the firmest floor
No one else will keep me safe
Nothing can take your place

So this is where I'll stand
On something firmer than sand
This is my hope
It's surer than each breath
I've got my faith
And you have given me grace
I will persevere
Until you come back

The Greatest Cause of Anger

You don't know what you are saying, do you?
A million words spew from your mouth like venom.
Do you know how fast they kill?
Do you know how much they bill?

Though your mouth is sweetened by honey, though you life looks right,
I see through your heart and it's filth that I find.
Can't you see where what you say
Is coming from? Evil.

Hear what I hate more than all else:
A fake and hypocritical heart.
You say one thing, do all else,
Give me love that is false.
I can't handle your sacrifices,
They fuel my wrath.

You can't comprehend the weight of the things that you do.
Each move you make just gives you shortcuts to more pain.
Won't you stop and change your mind.
Leave behind your ways and do mine.

Hear what I hate more than all else:
A fake and hypocritical heart.
You say one thing, do all else,
Give me love that is false.
I can't handle your sacrifices,
They fuel my wrath.

Turn to me, I want your heart.
Hear my plea: I want your heart.

I Finally Recall

How oft I've wished to run away
To see what lies beneath the stars
These city lights they kill the night
Keep blind those who were blind to start

I can't recall the days
When all I could say
Was how wonderful
A maker I have

How long I've waited for a time
When where I dwell is by the tree
That bears fruit that produces life
And keeps me satisfied, complete

Can you recall the days
When all we could say
Was how glorious
A maker we have

My God, we'll sing
How marvelous you are
My God, I see
A place more majestic

Your hands have made
Both plants and cement buildings
Divine artwork
Creator of all things good

How deep a longing weighs in me
To live with people, live with life
To see wild creatures grow around
Architecture so profound

Then we'll relive the days
When all we could say
Was how loving-kind
A father we have

Do you remember how things used to be
Well they'll be better than that when we're fully redeemed
These wretched bodies new, the heavens breaking through
We'll be here in the city on earth

Need-pleasures and Appreciative-pleasures

I was reading “The Four Loves” by C.S. Lewis again and something I didn’t fully understand hit me. Lewis talks about how there is a difference between Need-pleasures and Appreciative-pleasures (Need-love and Appreciative-love). An example of a Need-pleasure would be a glass of water when you are thirsty. When your mouth is parched and dry and you get a glass of water, the water quenches your thirst and pleases you greatly; but when you are not thirsty, water does not please you the same way. It is pleasing when it is needed; but when it is not needed, it fails to have the same pleasure it had. An example of an Appreciative-pleasure would be something like coffee. One never truly needs coffee, but we enjoy it for its taste and flavor. It is sheer delight (in it’s most innocent form) that causes one to drink coffee, whether that’s for the warm feeling it gives on a cold winter morning, the smell of the coffee beans as you open up the bag, or the diversity of flavors and blends from different parts of the world. I use the example of coffee intentionally because it is an example of an Appreciative-pleasure that can turn into a Need-pleasure when it becomes abused by the one who initially enjoyed it not out of need. People get addicted to coffee and, where it once was an Appreciative-pleasure, it becomes a Need-pleasure. So there is such a thing as a Need-pleasure that turns into something other than a pleasure: it turns from a key that once unlocked the door to pleasure into the lock on the door that kept the pleasure closed up to begin with. You no longer enjoy the thing simply because it is what it is; rather, you enjoy it because your body needs it to function.

And where there is a need, when that need is quenched, the pleasure is oftentimes quenched along with it. When you satisfy your thirst, you also satisfy the pleasure that comes along with drinking water. The pleasure leaves when the need leaves. When the need becomes a sort of vice, like when coffee becomes an addiction, so the thing that brought pleasure will potentially be turned into a vice as well. You will no longer drink coffee because you appreciate it, you will drink it because you need it. This doesn’t mean that all Need-pleasures are negative or vices. One's addiction to coffee might be a vice, but our addiction to water is never a vice. We need water to live, but we will never need coffee to live. C.S. Lewis says “Our Need-love for God is in a different position because our need of Him can never end either in this world or in any other. But our awareness of it can, and then the Need-love dies too.” The Need-pleasure we get in Jesus is a good thing because, like water, we desperately need our relationship with him to be right, which is only possible through faith in the gospel of Christ. When anybody becomes a Christian, there is usually some aspect of Need-pleasure that gets satisfied in Christ; oftentimes there is a temporary pleasure we receive just like water is a temporary pleasure when we are thirsty. People look to Christ to fill their temporary needs, just like the 10 lepers who came to him and were healed in Luke 17, 9 of which only received the temporary pleasure of being healed. Only one leper came back and received the pleasure of his greater need. Jesus does give people pleasure in and through temporary things sometimes, but most people do not come to him to satisfy their greatest need, a need that is everlasting. We have a greater need than being healed physically in this life: we have a need to be reconciled to God; in this we find a Need-pleasure that we will always have and that will always be satisfied in Jesus.

Lewis says later in that paragraph “There seems no reason for describing as hypocritical the short-lived piety of those whose religion fades away once they have emerged from ‘danger, necessity, or tribulation.’” If our Need-pleasure for Christ does not turn into an Appreciative-pleasure, it will (possibly) die off as soon as the need goes away. The Need-pleasure the 1 leper found in Jesus of physical healing turned into an Appreciative-pleasure, "Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks" (Luke 17:15-16). When one sees that Christ comforts them in trials, they become satisfied in their trials by Christ. But as soon as the trial ends, so does their need for Jesus to be their comfort. If they do not find pleasure in Christ simply for who he is, appreciating him out of sheer delight, their pleasure in him will die because it was based off of a temporary need. There are needs that aren’t temporary, and we will always have a Need-pleasure that is satisfied in Christ, but when all our pleasure in him consists of those needs that are temporary, no real or lasting pleasure will be found in him. There must be in every Christian a need that will always exist and will always be satisfied in Jesus, and there must also be in every Christian a pleasure to praise Jesus simply because of who he is. "Need-love cries to God from our poverty...Appreciative-love says: 'We give thanks to thee for thy great glory.'"

Higher than I

This was a fun poem to write! The first line in each section has 8 syllables, the second line in each second has 16 syllables. FUN FUN FUN!!!


I do not understand your ways.
You allow, no, command the pieces to fall the way that you want.

I can’t see things the way you do.
You always see beyond today, beyond what I would like right now.

I can’t seem to grasp your workings.
You take a thing I really want and hold it back, away from me.

I do not think I trust your ways.
In my mind I know that you are good and desire the best for me.

But in my life I can’t believe.
It will not play out practically and work out like my mind believes.

Why can’t I trust in who you are?
And trust your ways are higher, greater, deeper than all mine could be?

Oh! That I would truly feel it!
Know it deep inside my heart, hold it in my innermost being.

Though I doubt your plans for me, Lord,
You remain true to yourself: you’re good, gracious, faithful, unchanging.

Jesus the Righteous

Who is like our God, became man
Who humbled himself even unto death
There is none more worthy of praise
Jesus, the righteous, the ancient of days

He reigns with power and sits on the throne
Of grace; he gives mercy like none there is known

None can wash as clean as you do
No one can save me from sin, none but you
Nothing can heal or mend broken hearts
None but Jesus; worthy thou art

Who can stand when weighed down by cares
When life makes me weary, when life seems unfair
Who can pay my ransom for sin
Jesus, the righteous, for me, was broken

Who can die and raise in new life
In silence, so humble, he suffered and died
From the grave he rose the third day
Jesus, the righteous, whom death could not slay

He reigns with power and sits on the throne
Of grace; he gives mercy like none there is known

None can wash as clean as you do
No one can save me from sin, none but you
Nothing can heal or mend broken hearts
None but Jesus; worthy thou art

Pen and Tree

I spill my thoughts with pen and tree
It's such a joke, honestly
Cuz in my mind, my very being,
I'm given to a heart, you see

I can't explain, through pen and tree
Exactly what is happening
Affections lie so deep within,
Are married to my whole person

They can't be bound to pen and tree
Then thrown aside so thoughtlessly
To sit and then, by time, just rust
Become a hardened, breaking crust

And though I love my pen and tree
And though they do medicate me
They will suffice just one more day
Until my arms and words obey

Peace in Release

Oh! How do I release to you
The things I want and hold on to?

How do I give up those desires
I feel are placed upon my heart

By you, and not just by myself?
How do I put them on the shelf?

I do not know how to release
I do not know how to give up

Is there something I'm missing?
A word phrase not on my listing?

A rock I haven't over-turned?
A book I haven't fully read?

God! I feel like I'm crazy
I know I am not being lazy

Please teach me to fully release
So in you I can find some peace

The Beauty of Nature

I'm reading the book "Miracles" right now by C.S. Lewis. It is an amazing book. READ IT.
I was reading chapter 9 titled "A Chapter not Strictly Necessary" and thought Lewis described very beautifully how Nature is truly herself only when seen in light of something or someone bigger, namely God. I decided to post the last paragraph on my blog because I love Lewis' romanticism with Nature and the hope he had that one day it will be redeemed.
ENJOY!!!

"Only Supernaturalists really see Nature. You must go a little away from her, and then turn round, and look back. Then at last the true landscape will become visible. You must have tasted, however briefly, the pure water from beyond the world before you can be distinctly conscious of the hot, salty tang of Nature's current. To treat her as God, or as Everything, is to lose the whole pith and pleasure of her. Come out, look back, and then you will see...this astonishing cataract of bears, babies, and bananas: this immoderate deluge of atoms, orchids, oranges, cancers, canaries, fleas, gases, tornadoes and toads. How could you ever have thought this was the ultimate reality? How could you ever have thought that it was merely a stage-set for the moral drama of men and women? She is herself. Offer her neither worship nor contempt. Meet her and know her. If we are immortal, and if she is doomed (as the scientists tell us) to run down and die, we shall miss this half-shy and half-flamboyant creature, this ogress, this hoyden, this incorrigible fairy, this dumb witch. But the theologians tell us that she, like ourselves, is to be redeemed. The 'vanity' to which she was subjected was her disease, not her essence. She will be cured in character: not tamed (Heaven forbid) nor sterilised. We shall still be able to recognise our old enemy, friend, playfellow, and foster-mother, so perfected as to be not less, but more, herself. And that will be a merry meeting."

Letting Loose

What is this called?
This feeling of freedom arising
What is it named?
This feeling of singing inside me
It seems to be my way
Of letting loose my thoughts

What is that when
Passion is all I can feel?
What is it then?
I feel like I'm weighed down by steel
This seems to be my way
Of letting loose my heart

I think I've found my place
A herald from the top of the towers
The top of the hills

Take me to the heights
Where I can scream as free as the wind
O'er the fields of solitude

The things I feel, could they be right?
Or could it be I conjure up them like
A man made spring of water
Flowing near right

I know inside it's you who is living now
I'll be not worried for the words to say
For by your spirit I'll walk
And show your grace and life

Breathe on me your fire
So I can be as bold as the sea
Oh move so forcefully

Give me confidence
Not in my own words or deeds
But in you who will speak

You're Everything

You saved me from myself
You saved me from all hell

You are the purpose
I find for me to live

You're the air I breathe
Oh! You're everything

You carried all my shame
You wore unrighteousness

You are the purpose
That heaven does exist

You're the song I sing
Oh! You're everything

And my heart it longs for you
Like the winter waits for spring
In an eager expectation
Of the coming grace you'll bring

You are the reason that I'm living
You'll be the reason that I die
Sweet Jesus by your mercy
All I am will sing and glorify

You hold me in your hands
You are more than I can stand

You are the purpose
I find for me to live

You're the air I breathe
Oh! You're everything

You will come to get me soon
Lord, oh how I wait for you

You will bring with you the saints
We'll praise and glorify your name

And my heart it longs for you
Like the winter waits for spring
In an eager expectation
Of the coming grace you'll bring

You are the reason that I'm living
You'll be the reason that I die
Sweet Jesus by your mercy
All I am will sing and glorify

The Napoleon of Notting Hill

This poem is inspired by a book G.K. Chesterton wrote called "The Napoleon of Notting Hill." It is an amazing book, and I'd recommend it to everybody :)

Democracy is now at its greatest height
We'll choose from a hat the next king
Cuz they all act the same
How could this be; it cannot be; it's you

You think you're funny but only your looks
You made me the despot of dear Notting Hill
And I hope that you know
That Pomp Street is worth defending

War! But not for anything inconsistent
With the beautiful and civilized arts.
War for beauty! War for society! War for peace!
This is my city: may it stand or fall

You think I'm mad cuz I am playing your game
Without the slightest smile cracked
I'm not afraid of something happening
I'm afraid of nothing happening forever

So,
War! But not for anything inconsistent
With the beautiful and civilized arts.
War for beauty! War for society! War for peace!

Matter, in its brutal beauty, will always
Look down on those who are
Mad enough to consent to die, and yet
More mad, they consent to live.

This is my city: may it stand or fall.

Stuck in my Skull

Imagine a single thought
That spreads inside your mind
And splits into a million
Separate angled kind

A legion of ideas
Stuck inside your head
That all focus on one thing
With force as big as lead

Sometimes I fear I'll die
From how I over think
Like pins and needles piercing
My brain at different links

You think it would be easy
To give up thoughts that pull
Yet, for some reason they
Remain stuck in my skull

Real Love

I feel like blogging. About what? I have no idea. I'm such a hopeless romantic sometimes that even stupid movies stir up huge emotions about love in me. The thing that is stuck in my head right now is a line from a Jeff Buckley song called "Hallelujah": "I saw your flag on the marble arch, but love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken 'hallelujah.'"
Real love doesn't walk around in parades showing itself off; rather, it proclaims as loud as it can of the beloved. It would praise the beloved in front of all people, even if that risks one's own life. Real love would die for the beloved. It is humble and not boastful in itself.
As Dustin Kensrue puts it:

"There’s many who’ll tell you they’ll give you their love,
But when they say “give” they mean “take.”
They’ll hang ‘round just like vultures till push comes to shove.
They’ll take flight when the earth starts to shake.

Someone may say that they’ll always be true,
Then slip out the door ‘fore the dawn.
But I won’t leave you hanging on.
Another may stay till they find someone new,
Then before you know they’ll be gone.
But I won’t leave you hanging on;
No, I won’t be that someone.

And come what may, I won’t abandon you or leave you behind
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
And come what may, I will be standing right here by your side;
I won’t run away, though the storm’s getting worse and there’s no end in sight.

Some talk of destiny, others of fate,
But soon they’ll be saying goodbye.
But I won’t leave you high and dry.
Because a ring don’t mean nothing
If you can’t haul the weight,
And some of them won’t even try,
But I won’t leave you high and dry;
I won’t leave you wondering why.

And storms will surely come,
But true love is a choice you must make
And you’re the one that I have set my heart to choose.
As long as I live, I swear I’ll see this through."

When All My Life

When all my life's filled with despair
My heart and mind act without care
My lips speak fire that burns down trees
And drink the greatest, deepest seas

When all my life's filled with despair
My hands seek things they shouldn't dare
My eyes look for the brightest sun
And tell me that it's just for fun

When all my life's filled with regret
I medicate simply to forget
My mind goes blank without a thought
Tries to deny all I've been taught

When all my life's filled with regret
I must bow down, truly repent
Receive anew your filling grace
And look upon your lovely face

Hopefully Hopeless

I heard once of this thing called love
A noun that was used sparingly

It's worth seemed high
So ventured, I,
To find out why
It carried not far

I came to find this thing called love
Was only used for one reason:

A hopeless thought
Most touched it not
When held, they fought
For it was not easy

I started thinking about this "love"
This word most dared not come across

It seemed so cool
Most said "You fool,
You're such a tool"
But I couldn't stop thinking

Deciding that this thing called love
Was something I'd give everything for

A desperate life
I'd live to find
A love that's mine
All in God's time

The Words

"It is painful to me now to reflect, the ease with which I got into the way of using this non-language; these drooling non-sentences conveying non-thoughts, propounding non-fears and offering non-hopes. Words are as beautiful as love, and as easily betrayed. I am more penitent for my false words-for the most part, mercifully lost for ever in the Media's great slag-heaps-than for false deeds." - Malcolm Muggeridge, the "Wizard of Words"

Often times we speak in a language that nobody comprehends (because we are so intellectual and smart, right???); we speak in sentences that nobody understands; we blurt out thoughts that mean absolutely nothing to everybody; we alert people of things they should fear, but really nobody cares about them but for a minute or two; we give people hope that is really not hope at all.

What if we ONLY said the things we really meant? What if we only speak when we feel a deep compulsion to speak?

Our words hold weight, whether we intend them to or not. Why not use this? Why not be intentional with our words?

"Wake, feel your worth, O my soul.
Speak the word, the word that can save us all.
Awed by grace, I fall on my face,
And scream the word that can save us all."
-Dustin Kensrue

Let's speak the words that can save us all, not the words that will destroy the soul.

Inordinate

Keeping track of the ways I screw up
I'm noticing there ain't nothing new I've done
The same issues won't seem to shake off
How the hell am I supposed to keep pressing on

You think I'd learn there are puddles in the streets
Twenty years of the same path every day
Can't seem to find peace in my own strength
Teach me love, teach me love, teach me love and your ways

Oh! Round and round we go
We're like a ferris wheel
That has lost control
We move in these circles
Like the dog returns to vomit
We're so out of control

Progress is not a relative term
We can't convince people to follow our lead
Then change the vision we held so high
I need to stand on the truth and not the lie

We try all the best foods
Not realizing the trash it is
We fill our minds with filth
Let's learn from our mistakes
And find amazing grace
Cuz it exists

Oh! Round and round we go
We're like a ferris wheel
That has lost control
We move in these circles
Like the dog returns to vomit
We're so out of control

Thanks Abby!!!

So one of my good friends (Abigail Atchison) wrote a poem that was inspired by me (http://dear-abbi.blogspot.com/)!!! How I am inspiring still is not certain to me haha. Maybe I am not inspiring, but my love for cities and for London is??? I duno. But I thought I'd share it with anybody who cares :) enjoy!!!

The streets of London call him
The streets of London

The streets of London beckon him
The streets of London

He cannot find his way back
He seems to've lost his way back
If he could only get his heart back
Back to the streets of London

The streets of London stole him
The streets of London

The streets of London keep him
The streets of London

His body's just a shell here
His soul has long been elsewhere
His feet are trapped on endless paths
About the streets of London

The streets of London haunt him
The streets of London

The streets of London gnaw at him
The streets of London

Ring around the motorway
A pocket full of heart ache
Ashes Ashes
Pollute the streets of London

Ring around the motorway
A pocket full of heart ache
Ashes Ashes
He cannot see his London

To Lead is to Follow (Christ)

How can one lead
When all merely follow?
We're creatures who seem
To value what's hollow

We walk after things
That sit on a throne
They wear the great rings
That control our life's tone

So leading just may
Simply mean to parrot
Something with weight
Something of great merit

If you must lead
Make sure what you follow
Is none less than Jesus
Don't value what's hollow

Wash it Away

I wrote a song today and these are the lyrics that flowed into it. It is a very personally passionate song and I am almost afraid to put up the lyrics without people hearing the music. The music evokes the emotions I have concerning the words and hopefully soon I can record it so people can understand it completely :)

I've got ears, but your voice seems so far away
I'd swear I've heard it so clearly
But I can't deny that my faith is so small

I've got hope, though a fool's hope it might all be
Teach me to put all my trust in thee
I can't help but have unbelief

Oh! Wash it away!

I've read stories of faith that could part the seas
Faith that covers and washes clean
But all I have is my unbelief

I know sometimes it seems like our lives are lost
Real pain can make us recount the cost
I hate, I hate all my unbelief

Oh! Wash it away!

Warning: Low Ceiling

Myths and folklores
Sweet tales we'd like to jump into
Fireflies go round the flames
Sparks go up to our brains

Bright lights on black trains
And sirens for hurricanes
We alert the masses of these impending dooms
Scream for the world to hear
That disaster and trials are coming near
Don't forget these only cause a temporal loss

Warnings should include
Wishful thinking that holds our heads
We'd rather be ignorant
But by ignorance we'll be condemned

Bright lights on black trains
And sirens for hurricanes
We alert the masses of these impending dooms
Scream for the world to hear
That disaster and trials are coming near
Don't forget these only cause a temporal loss

I won't keep this silent
All should know
That even if the ocean should overflow
There's still hope beyond this
If we'd open our eyes
Though by darkness we're overcome
And even if the earth swallows us whole
There's life still beyond this
Through faith, grace, and love

Sleep time
Let's all pretend
It's just a dream that soon will end

Humility and Edification

As I have posted in previous blogs, I have been reading "Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices" by Thomas Brooks, and Puritan preacher from the 1600's. YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK. In the fifth section of the book, under the third device, remedy number 12 says something that completely destroyed me (in a good way). In case I've already said too much as though to bore the reader from continuing on and actually reading the quote, I will stop now and HOPE you will read this section in it's entirety:

"Humility makes a man peaceable among brethren, fruitful in well-doing, cheerful in suffering, and constant in holy walking (1 Peter 5:5). Humility fits for the highest services we owe to Christ, and yet will not neglect the lowest service to the meanest saint (John 13:5). Humility can feed upon the meanest dish, and yet it is maintained by the choicest delicates, as God, Christ, and glory. Humility will make a man bless him that curses him, and pray for those that persecute him. An humble heart is an habitation for God, a scholar for Christ, a companion of angels, a preserver of grace, and a fitter for glory. Humility is the nurse of our graces, the preserver of our mercies, and the great promoter of holy duties. Humility cannot find three things on this side heaven: it cannot find fullness in the creature, nor sweetness in sin, nor life in an ordinance without Christ. An humble soul always finds three things on this side heaven: the soul to be empty, Christ to be full, and every mercy and duty to be sweet wherein God is enjoyed (Footnote 59: Humility, said Bernard, is that which keeps all graces together). Humility can weep over other men's weaknesses, and joy and rejoice over their graces. Humility will make a man quiet and contented in the meanest condition, and it will preserve a man from envying other men's prosperous condition (1 Thess. 1:2-3). Humility honours those that are strong in grace, and puts two hands under those that are weak in grace (Eph. 3:8). Humility makes a man richer than other men, and it makes a man judge himself the poorest among men. Humility will see much good abroad, when it can see but little at home. Ah, Christian! though faith be the champion of grace, and love the nurse of grace, yet humility is the beautifier of grace; it casts a general glory upon all the graces in the soul. Ah! did Christians more abound in humility, they would be less bitter, froward, and sour, and they would be more gentle, meek, and sweet in their spirits and practices. Humility will make a man have high thoughts of others and low thoughts of a man's self; it will make a man see much glory and excellency in others, and much baseness and sinfulness in a man's self; it will make a man see others rich, and himself poor; others strong, and himself weak; others wise, and himself foolish (Footnote 60: The humble soul is like the violet, which grows low, hangs the head downwards, and hides itself with its own leaves; and were it not that the fragrant smell of his many virtues discovered him to the world, he would choose to live and die in his self-contenting secrecy"). Humility will make a man excellent at covering others' infirmities, and at recording their gracious services, and at delighting in their graces; it makes a man joy in every light that outshines his own, and every wind that blows others good. Humility is better at believing than it is at questioning other men's happiness. I judge, saith an humble soul, it is well with these Christians now, but it will be far better with them hereafter. They are now upon the borders of the New Jerusalem, and it will but as a day before the slide in Jerusalem. An humble soul is more willing to say, Heaven is that man's, than mine; and Christ is that Christian's, than mine; and God is their God in covenant, than mine. Ah! were Christians more humble, there would be less fire and more love among them than now is."

Off Into Invisible

So much for fantasies
Drowning they seem
We create such treasures
In our thoughts and our dreams

Elaborate landscapes
Impossible dead
They're only delusions
Ideas in our heads

Off into invisible
Like moon and the stars
Dreams fade and falter
Increasingly far

Off into invisible
The sun never lasts
Leave us to our dreams
Please don't let them pass

True Hatred

I've been reading a book called "Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices" by the old Puritan preacher Thomas Brooks. This book is amazing and I think everybody should read it (it's only $9 on Amazon!!!).

I was reading in the fourth section of the book, which is "Satan's Devices to Keep Saints in a Sad, Doubting, Questioning and Uncomfortable Position" and something he said stuck out to me in from the fifth device Brooks says Satan uses. They are as follows:

1) Many people get caught up in finger pointing out certain sins, all the while ignoring other sins. People start obeying Jesus, but only certain things the Bible says, and not all of it. For example, in Matthew 23:23-24, Jesus says, " Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel." In the footnote (70) on page 163, Brooks says "True hatred is against the whole kind." I realized while reading Precious Remedies, that many of the legalists in our day get so focused on certain things and completely neglect things that they are failing in, just like the Pharisees in Jesus' time. One sign of true regeneration is a hatred of sin, not particular sins, but ALL sin. We must realize that every sin, both the things we do that are wrong and failing to do what is right, are first and foremost against God. Not one sin is more against God than another sin, though some sins have greater repercussions than others. With that in mind, we move on to my next point, which helps enlighten the first point, and why some people point at certain sins and not others.

2) On page 164 of Precious Remedies, Brooks says, "It will not suffice a soul to see justice done upon one sin, but he cries out for justice upon all. He would not have some crucified and some spared, but he cries out, Lord, crucify them all, crucify them all. Oh! but now the conflict that is in wicked men is partial; they frown upon one sin and smile upon another; they strike at some sins yet stroke others; they thrust some out of doors but keep others close in their bosoms; as you may see in Jehu, Herod, Judas, Simon, Magus, and Demas. Wicked men strike at gross sins, such as are not only against the law of God, but against the laws of nature and nations, but make nothing of less sins; as vain thoughts, idle words, sinful motions, and petty oaths. They fight against those sins that fight against their honour, profits, and pleasures, but make truce with those that are as right hand as right eyes to them."

There is a lot to this, but the main thing I want to focus on is why people point out certain sins and not others. Now, it needs to be noted that we are to call out sin and not be idle when we and others who claim the name of Christ are sinning; the point is not being particular with sin when dealing with ours and others sin. All sin is sin (simple, right?). We know sin by knowing Jesus and his holiness. We know sin to be things contrary to the nature of God. We know sin by the Word of God.

The two main ways I see Brooks saying that people are particular with sins are as follows:

A) People point out and abstain from sins that go against the laws of nature. Many times these have to deal with sins involving sex (i.e. homosexuality, polygamy, fornication, pornography, etc. etc.), sins involving things that alter our state of minds (i.e. drunkenness, unnecessary drug use, etc. etc.), and many more of the like. People see these as sin not because they are against Jesus, but because they are against the "natural order of the world." This creates moralism. People see how things should be morally and outwardly and strive to obtain a place that fits a morally correct picture. This is contrary to what the Bible teaches and we must see that sins are not just against nature, but sins are first and foremost agains God. This will also cause us to realize that there are so many other sins that are hidden inside and might not manifest themselves outwardly so evidently.
There are sins that are against God even if they are not against the laws of nature.

B) People willfully ignore certain sins because they are pleasing to the self. Sometimes, people sin in order to keep their "honour", to keep their "profits", to keep their "pleasure". Rather than being humbled by mistakes, people lie, cheat, steal, and kill to keep their personal glory. They go to church every Sunday, they attend a weekly community group, the give more that 10% to the church, and they care deeply for poor; all the while they are liars and cheaters, covetous and greedy, worshipping the idols of themselves rather than Jesus himself, they want their glory more than the glory of God, and yet they think they are righteous because of their outward morals. People abstain from sins that are obviously not befitting of one of Christ's elect, yet they do not abstain from the sins that are festering in their very own hearts.

The point of all of this is this: we must hate sin. We must detest sin. Sin is the reason our God came to earth. He lived the perfectly moral life that we all have failed to live and then he died in our place for all of our sin, of which we should all rightfully be condemned to Hell. Jesus took on an eternity of Hell for all people so that we won't have to. This should make us hate sin, but not particular sins over others, rather ALL SIN. "True hatred is against the whole kind."

So Damn Hopeless?

These nights feel hopeless
Like sparks in the rain
They’re so hard to process
Yet so easily gained

Tell me why you think
The world just won’t end?
Sometimes I do feel
Like we’re beyond mend

So many people
Still feel all alone
Even church steeples
Won't do as our home

Confused, some so wrongly
Assume this is it
Yet I know so strongly
They’re not right one bit

The Clear Picture

This poem is probably 2 years old, give or take:

Beneath the stars and through the trees
I've thrown myself down on my knees
I'm at the mercy of the earth
I'll prove myself and show my worth

And though I'm nothing of myself
In him I find a stronger man
A toy, once placed upon a shelf
But now I'm loved into a plan

So in the mud I see so clear
The painting, once by dirt all smeared
Exuberant in the eyes of mine
And in the dark, still there you shine

I gasp for breath, to taste the air
To start the race from where I stand
And close behind I feel so bare
By grace, by love, I grab your hand